By Amitava Gupta, MD

The pandemic hit me like it has affected everyone else. I have tried to use poetry as a form of relaxation to escape from the stress of constant worry in the days of the pandemic.

The first poem highlights the humility and the human frailty of the front-line healthcare worker. People call us heroes, but really, we are just doing our jobs with a lot of fear and trepidation.

No hero

I am no hero.
It’s my job
That’s what I do
It’s hard, it makes me sob
But still, it’s my job.
So, I am no hero.

I come to work, afraid
For all the death I see
I work, in dread
For my colleagues, patients and me
I go home, afraid for my family
Afraid of what tomorrow will be.

I am afraid as I put on my PPE.
I am afraid of the fear inside of me.
I am no more than you, you and you
Who show up and try our best to do.

So not a hero
Just another man
Getting by as I can
Doing my best
And I try
To live another day
To not die
To once more see a beautiful sunset
And the starry sky.
One more time walk in the morning dew
And watch the sunrise hue
And maybe smell the roses, too.

I could choose not to be here
Not to care
Not to share
But I show up to work
Days and nights in a murk
So, I am not a hero
Just a normal afraid mortal zero.

Hearing all the stories of the people dying in the ICUs all alone affected me a lot. One of my close friends, an Orthopedic surgeon, passed away all alone. So I reflected on life and loneliness in this poem.

All alone

“A man dies from the virus
All alone”

Every death ends in loneliness
When you die
In your final silent cry
You are alone

In your journey from the darkness of the womb
To the stillness of the tomb
From serene peace to strife
To the light of life
You are alone

In your solitude and in your slumber
The visions that you encumber
When you dream, imagine, contemplate
In your inner thoughts, most intimate
You are alone

Rich or poor
Famous or obscure
In your pain and in your agony
In depravity and in anomie
You are alone

From the apogee of your ecstasy
From the fullness of your fantasy
To the depths of depression
In your prayer and meditation
You are alone.

In ultimate joy and delirium
In your journey from life to oblivion
You are alone.

When you die
In your final helpless sigh
You are all alone

Finally, there is reason to be optimistic…this too shall pass! Life will be normal again someday!

Our Touch

Touch is the caress we enjoy
Complete with emotion and joy.
Touch comforts with care.
Our touch heals,
In all the love it reveals.

When our touch is poison
When kiss becomes illusion
When the breath is a curse
Life loses its dignity
Living is perverse.

Yet again, we will kiss and hug
And again, we will caress and love.
Someday soon we will live again.
And in our heart and in our touch
Our humanity we will surely reclaim.